So what is your role as a best man? |
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Well one of the first jobs is the stag event |
It might be fun to organise something that will be a surprise for the groom. However it is important to communicate with the groom and make sure he is OK with that. The stag night is not just about the groom it is also about the other male guests, so if he has invited his new father in law to be; then a stripper, or tying the groom to a lamp post may not be the smartest thing. Plan something that will suit all attending and their budgets. A weekend in Barcelona might be great but this might also exclude friends from attending and they may be very disappointed that they were unable to join the groom on his stag weekend. There is nothing stopping you organising two events. A weekend away for those who are able to attend and then a meal or day out in the UK too so that all are catered for. Help your groom out by asking him for his guest list with all necessary contact details, so he has nothing to worry about.
This is your responsibility so get yourself organised!! Try www.adventureconnections.co.uk |
Transport |
Liaise with the bride and groom about the grooms transport and transport to the honeymoon destination or airport. Make sure that if a car is hired for the groom that requires one of you to drive (e.g. a hired Ferrari) then it is your responsibility to make sure it has enough petrol for the day and that someone other than the groom is insured so that the vehicle can be taken to the reception venue, or where ever the vehicle is being collected from. If the car is to be returned then you need to make sure you return the car on time and meeting all the hire companies’ criteria. Oh and make sure you know where the car keys are at all times, or you could find the groom is on an aircraft with the keys in his pocket!! For sports cars try www.daystoamaze.co.uk |
Liaison |
| Act as liaison between the bride and grooms family and friends. Let the bride know that she can add your contact details and mobile number to all the correspondence that she sends out, so that leading up to and on the day they have someone to contact should they have any last minute questions or need help. If they have a wedding website then this would be the ideal place to put your details. For personalised wedding websites try www.shellden-celebrations.co.uk or www.weddingtracker.co.uk |
All packed |
| If you are staying at a hotel the night before make sure that he has packed everything that he will need for the day and for the honeymoon. It might seem a bit OTT bit it is a good idea to encourage your groom to do a check list so he can make sure he has remembered everything. Passports, tickets, razor, trunks and so on. |
On the day |
| Get him to the Church on time, make sure he is clean, shaven, fed and watered (alcohol free, no hair of the dog please!) If he has hair appointments before the ceremony then get him to and from. Keep him occupied and calm his nerves as necessary. A good breakfast is important as it is a long day and will help keep (you both) going. |
The toilet! |
| It might seem very “nanny” but make sure you both go to the loo before the ceremony. Nerves can put you or your groom in an embarrassing position if you suddenly get the urge in the middle of the vows. |
Safety First |
| Keep the ring or rings safe until you hand them over to the priest or person presiding over the ceremony. Guard them with your life. |
Ushers |
| Make sure that the Ushers all know what they are doing and that they are doing it. This includes any roles agreed with the bride such as collecting and issuing button holes, collecting and issuing Orders of Service and ensuring all the guests are seated in time and that they are generally looked after. This can also include leaving one usher who has a car at the venue/Church so that any guests who are unsure of the location of the reception or any guests who need last minute transport are looked after. |
Money |
| Get a list of all things that need paying for from the bride and groom and all relevant cheques/cash and make sure that all service providers are paid and get a receipt |
The Speeches |
Prepare your speech before hand. Many people wing it and it will show. Traditionally the father of the bride will go first. His speech will include thanks to all for coming and a toast to the bride & groom. Next is the groom’s response. His speech will include thanks to all who have helped including mother, family and friends and give any gifts. He will also thank the bridesmaids and offer them gifts. Then finally you, the best man responds. Your speech should include any messages and telegrams from those who could not attend and a thank you, on behalf of the bridesmaids, to the bride and groom for asking them to attend at their wedding and for the kind gifts. Speeches usually take place after the meal/breakfast but it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you or your groom require any help with speeches then try a quality speech writer. Marc Le Mezma is a wedding magician but he is also a top speaker for many events and he specialises in not only helping you to write your speeches but how to deliver them. His details are on www.weddingmagician.co.uk
When I married, my husband and the best man were very nervous. I didn’t want them to be worrying about speeches all through the meal. So we did it differently. The groom and best man went before the meal and the father of the bride (my Dad) who has married off 4 daughter and very used to speech making went after the meal.
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Gifts |
| Make sure that any gifts brought to the reception are stored safely and securely. The venue will assist you with this. |
Last one standing |
| Be the last to leave the reception if you can!! This will ensure that the bride and groom can feel comfortable going off on their honeymoon in the knowledge that their guests are being looked after. |
While they are away |
| The bride and groom should feel able to ask you to take care of their home, pets and plants while they are away. Only when they return from their honeymoon does you responsibility stop. |
